Oh... You're Gay, Dawg?

Earlier today there was a small discussion about women and their whining and/or complaining being the reason why a follower [on twitter] corroborated that he refused to be with a woman.  I then countered his statement stating that I knew of men who possessed the same behaviors of those he expressed as purely of the female species.  The conversation lasted a few more tweets as the follower expressed that he too has been with women so he was speaking from experience.  I too have dabbled in the likes of the female species before venturing off to the male domain and another follower wanted me to share this.  I thought it was too much to get into on twitter, so I decided to blog about it.

Here we go...

In the last 90s, "gay" was discussed but it wasn't as openly discussed as it is nowadays.  I personally didn't know of any gay people, but I did know that gay was wrong and it was not of God; or so that is what I had been taught to believe.  But when I was in middle school, I found myself very fond of a guy [we'll call him Freddy] but I didn't understand what was going on.  It was more of a "best friend" vibe I was giving off.  You know that one guy in middle school who has the beard, goatee, and deep voice -- that was Freddy.  Like I always wanted to be around him.  Eating lunch together, always picking him on my team, altering my schedule so that we took some of the same classes together... but again, this was not gay to me.  It was just me wanting Freddy to be my "best friend".  Anywho, I was soon over that phase when I got to high school.  I went to private elementary and middle schools, so after practically begging my mother to allow me to enroll in the local public high school, I was open to a whole new world.  It was your typical urban high school, but I wasn't used to it at all.  So it was definitely a shocker for me, but I learned to adapt quickly. 

Throughout high school, I had "feelings" for guys but I submerged them all.  I continued dating girls, I played sports, I was somewhat of a bully and hung with all the jocks.  My little crew were known for eating pussy.  That was our thing.   It all started because we wanted to see what these girl's privates looked like and we would meet up and discuss like some mobsters.  Catching up with the fellas after football and baseball practice to watch a flick that someone stole from their pops or one of the many that circulated the halls at school.  Those were the days.  Anywho, so throughout high school, I was never approached about my sexuality or what my preference was when it came to sex.  Everyone assumed I was nasty because of the crew I ran with and all we did was have sex with girls and watch porn all day. 

[Oh, by this time I knew I was gay.  I figured it all out the beginning of my senior year but still never acted on these feelings with a guy.]

Then came college. Now, my college was small... very small.  We held about 2000 students [in total] and the ratio of women to men was nearly 23:1 [23 women for every guy].  I made friends quickly.  Still friends with a few.  We gay bashed, threw water balloons at the gays, and even shot them with water guns.  It was all in fun though, we never meant any harm... just something to do.  I had a few girlfriends my freshman and sophomore year.  I dated one of my then-best friend's homegirl, even a stripper that me and my then-best friend would flip [have sex with at the same time].  My then-best friend knows now, but he was the start of my voyeuristic behavior.  I would find more enjoyment in watching him fuck her than I would actually having sex with her myself.  It was a strange feeling at first, but with time it all began to make sense.  So sophomore year rolls around and here came the new batch of freshman.  They were a flamboyant bunch but I knew that I had to maintain.  I had been doing good.

Well... not long after midterms, I was approached by this guy who sat next to me on the couch of the lobby area in my dorm.  He sat RIGHT next to me and asked me about the [football] game.  Trying to make small talk, I later found out that he came to talk to me for his friend who came to feel me out to see if I were gay or not.  I was told that he told him [the friend] that I wasn't gay but dude still wanted to try me anyway.  Now, this part is a blur because I don't remember how he ended up in my dorm do remember my dick in his mouth.  So my sophomore year was the first time I got my dick sucked by a guy, fucked a guy, and really grasped the concept that "you're gay, dawg".  I was literally living a double life on campus and at home.  19 years old and wilding out. 
room or how it even came to play but I

My senior year of college is when I was like "fuck it" though.  I didn't care who knew I was gay then.  Rumors spread and I heard the laughing and giggles, but NO ONE, not ONE person every approached me and asked "are you gay?"  I guess it was just something understood.  I'll never forget coming downstairs and hearing this girl say, "he waited til senior year to come out."  I just laughed and kept walking.  She wanted me freshman year. LOL 

Now, in my late twenties and finally in a happy place with both my spiritual and sexuality, I think it's a understanding I have with people.  If you ask me, I'll tell you.  People always ask me, "does your mama know?" and I tell them "no, but if she does it's never discussed."    But that's a[whole]nother story. 

Quench Your Thirst.

The days of being cordial or simply stating that someone is "cute/handsome" has been totally discarded by this word termed by urban America as "thirst".

I have never seen so many people have the audacity to utter someone is being thirsty behind them simply because they said "nice ass" or "nice pics" or even if someone likes more than two of your stinkin' photos via Instagram.  Granted, some of you niggas are quite thirsty, I see it as pure comedy.  If you don't want poeple to comment or compliment your pictures, then don't post them -- a lot of you secretly live for this shit.  Learn to accept and/or give a compliment and keep it moving.

What bothers me about it is these grown ass men who walk around talking about somebody is being so thirsty behind them?  I'm just like, and you drew this conclusion from ONE compliment?  All the dude said was "nice shoes".  LOL Y'all sound like some hoes.  I won't even begin to comment on how I feel about females talking about men being thirsty behind them.  Majority of them should be happy someone is even paying their ass attention.

And y'all wonder why I'm so mean.  This has GOT to stop.

Social Networks & Relationships... Is it possible?

Earlier this week, a good buddy of mine [who I met via twitter] told me he didn't want to be "one of those niggas who delete their twitter account because their boo asked them too, but reactivate it when they break up" and it kind of threw me for a loop.  Although, I can definitely see what direction he was going in, it bothered me because in the end, it is YOUR twitter.

Now, I am going to slightly contradict myself by saying this because I, on the other hand, have no problem deleting my twitter and/or facebook -- amongst some other "apps" that shall remain nameless; if my significant other feels that I should, BUT it has to be a mutual thing.  My thing with social networks and relationships is simply this though, YOU SHOULD NOT POST SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT SEEING IF YOUR PARTNER POSTED IT!  period.  Social networks are supposed to be fun.  Everyone flirts, everyone laughs, everyone thirsts, but there is always a line that should be drawn when a relationship is thrown into play.

I had a conversation with another good friend of mine not long ago about how I conduct myself on and/or off twitter/facebook when I am in a relationship.  I always ask myself this question, "if ____ posted this, would I feel some type of way about it?" and you could draw your conclusion from that.  With that being said, you know your partner better than twitter/facebook does.  So, in asking yourself that question, keep in mind his/her attitude towards things you say and how he/she would perceive it.  Trust me, it will save you both a lot of time from arguing -- unless you like that type of thing.

My question to my buddy was "do you feel obligated to delete your twitter"?  In most instances, it cuts down on a lot of drama that I have personally seen it encounter into some peoples relationships but if it is all done respectfully, there should definitely not be any problems.  As I always say, you cannot control what other people do or the advances one may make towards you, but you can always choose not to react or simply lay it on the table.  Again, you're in the relationship, not them.

Let me know of you guy's take on the issue.  Would you delete your account if your boy/girlfriend asked you to?